Gunner Joe Lyrics
I'll tell you a seafaring story
Of a lad who won honour and fame
Wi Nelson at Battle Trafalgar
Joe Moggeridge that were his name
He were one of the crew of the Victory
His job when a battle begun
Was to take cannon balls out o basket
And shove em down front end o gun
One day him and Nelson were boxing
The compass like sailor lads do
When Ardy comes up wi a spyglass
And pointing says Ere take a screw
They looked to were Ardy were pointing
And saw lots o ships in a row
Joe says abrupt like but respectful
Oratio lad yon's the foe
What say we attack em says Nelson
Says Joe Nay lad not today
And Ardy says Aye well let's toss up
Oratio answers Okay
They tossed it were heads for attacking
And tails for tother way bout
Joe lent them his two headed penny
So the answer was never in doubt
When penny came down ead side uppards
They was in for a do it were plain
And Joe murmered Shiver me timbers
And Nelson kissed Ardy again
And then taking flags out o locker
E strung out a message on high
T were all about England and duty
Crew thought they was ung out to dry
They got the guns ready for action
And that gave em trouble enough
They adn't been fired all the summer
And touch holes were bunged up wi fluff
Joe's cannon it weren't alf a corker
The cannon balls went three foot round
They wasn't no toy balloons either
They weighed close on sixty five pound
Joe selecting two of the largest
Was going to load double for luck
When a hot shot came in thro the porthole
And a gunpowder barrel got struck
By gum there weren't alf an explosion
The gun crew were filled with alarm
As out of the porthole went Joseph
Wi a cannon ball under each arm
At that moment up came the Boat swine
He says Where's Joe Gunner replied
E's taken two cannon balls with I'm
And gone for a breather outside
Do you think he'll be long said the Boat swine
The gunner replied If as ow
E comes back as quick as e left us
E should be ere any time now
And all this time Joe treading water
Was trying is ardest to float
E shouted thro turmoil of battle
Tell someone to lower a boat
Ed come to the top for assistance
Then down to the bottom he'd go
This up and down kind of existence
Made everyone laugh except Joe
At last e could stand it no longer
And next time e came to the top
E said If you don't come and save me
I'll let these ere cannon balls drop
T were Nelson at finish who saved him
And e said Joe deserved the VC
But finding e adn't one andy
E gave Joe an egg for is tea
And after the battle was over
And vessel was safely in dock
The sailors all saved up their coupons
And bought Joe a nice marble clock