How Long Can This Go On

One very familiar type of song is the christmas carol

Although it is perhaps a bit out of season at this time

However

I'm informed by my disk jockey friends of whom I have none

In order to get a song popular by christmas time

You have to start plugging it well in advance

So here goes

It has always seemed to me after all

That christmas

With its spirit of giving

O

Us all a wonderful opportunity each year to reflect on what

We all most sincerely and deeply believe in

I refer of course

To money

And yet none of the christmas carols

That you hear on the radio or in the street

Even attempt to capture the true spirit of christmas

As we celebrate it in the unit

Ates

That is to say the commercial spirit

So I should like to offer the following christmas carol for next year

As being perhaps a bit more appropriate

Christmas time is here

By golly

Disapproval would be folly

Deck the halls with hunks of holly

Fill the cup and don't say when

Kill the turkeys

Ducks and chickens

Mix the punch

Drag out the d**kens

Even though the prospect sickens

Brother

Here we go again

On christmas day you can't get sore

Your fellow man you must adore

There's time to rob him all the more

The other three hundred and sixty four

Relations

Sparing no expense'll

Send some useless old utensil

Or a matching pen and pencil

Just the thing I need

How nice

It doesn't matter how sincere it

Is

Nor how heartfelt the spirit

Sentiment will not endear it

What's important is the price

Hark the herald tribune sings

Advertising wondrous things

God rest ye merry

Merchants

May you make the yuletide pay

Angels we have heard on high

Tell us to go out and buy

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle

Hail our dear old friend kris kringle

Driving his reindeer across the sky

Don't stand underneath when they fly by

Actually I did rather well myself

This last christmas

The nicest present I received was a gift certificate

Good at any hospital for a lobotomy

Rather thoughtful