The Arch-Illager (Explicit)

The Arch-Illager (Explicit) - Dan Bull

Lyrics by：Dan Bull

Composed by：Dan Bull

Yuu I was born into a cruel and unforgiving

Nasty world that didn't want me

They rejected disrespected scorned

Shunned me cold and hungry

All I wanted was some company to be comfy

But to put it bluntly they were being a bunch

Of considerably rude neighbours so I gave up

Then I stumbled on a bloody massive cave look

The doorway yawned awake slowly

I wasn't brave normally

But a strange force was calling me

And so with flaming torch in hand

I made my way forward though those serrated

Corners on the boulders made it awkward

I gazed on in awe following a short reconnaissance

I saw what lay before me

It was called the orb of dominance

It held sway over my thoughts I gained confidence

'Til at once the commoners no longer had my tolerance

I'm a small illager the littlest around

But now I've got a feeling I'm gonna be well endowed

I'm a small illager my will it stands proud

Growing 'til I fit the throne so hand me the crown

Now bow down show me the top of your head

Hey I said bow down else I'll be dropping you dead

And I'm the arch illager and I will pillage your village

Until you give in so run you can't win

If you stand in my path you'll get trampled like grass

I see you haven't any heating I can provide that

No need to thank me here's a torch completely free of charge

I'll leave your family tree scorched slashed with lethal steel shards

Oh I see you're planning a

Resistance if you're going to lead the charge

Be advised objects in your rearview appear large

Your mistake was thinking this a safe space for your opinions

'Til my minions chased you straight away from my dominion

So make haste spread my covenant all across the kingdom

I'm your new government coming for more than just your income

You can try assembling a rebellion of adventurers

It's never gonna bother me my friend so don't pretend it does

I'm the arch illager now come on down

Down into my dungeon have a look around

I'm the arch illager living in a cave

And having a party while keeping villagers enslaved

Now come on down down come on quicker

Chop chop come on down down some hard liquor

I am the arch illager handle my business

Now everybody give a big hand to our visitors

Look at you and your gang you couldn't be more villainous

Forcing my hand you're gonna be all prisoners

No forgiveness I'm sending in my skeletons

In regiments defending us against your weapons with a vengeance

Repelling your torches enemy forces

Making me nauseous better be cautious

Or you'll be left on the edge of a

Tall cliff awkward better restore quick

Then come down into the dungeon where the smell is rather pungent

Can't tell if it's your bunions or you've been cutting some onions

I'm the arch illager thank you for coming down

Now make yourself comfortable have a look around

I'm the arch illager catching you unaware

If you come in unprepared here's someone you haven't met

So glad you came down down summoned to my lair

There now what's the matter chuck you look a little scared

And I'm the arch illager and I warned ya

That if you didn't give up

Then I'd have to confiscate your head

Yeah I'm not to be messed with mate

I may be small

But I'm kind of a big deal

So my suggestion

Should you wish to heed it

And I strongly advise that you do

Is to bugger off