Cold Blooded Christmas (Explicit)

It was late at night on christmas eve

I was dreaming of the soft white snow

White snow

I was awoken by a noise near the christmas tree

What it was

I did not know

It was santa claus he was bringing me some gifts

Unfortunately

I did not know that

I didn't know

So I quietly snuck up behind him and

I shot him five times in the back

It went bow bow bow bow bow

He said what the f**k ow ow ow

Then I shot him three more times in the head

Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead

That's when

I noticed his blood soaked beard

And his red suit filled with bullet holes

Oh oh

I said Oh my god I killed santa claus I'm not going to jail for this asshole

Hell no

So I went do my shed and

I got my saw

And I started to chopedy chop chop

Chop chop chop

I started with his arms then his legs then his head and then the torso was a really long job

And the blood went spurt spurt spurt

It was really hard work work work

It was hard cutting through his spine

I must have vomited 16 times

I burned all the pieces in my fireplace

The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose 11 hours later there was nothing left then that's when

I heared my telephone

It was aunty

Gene looking for uncle

Bob She said he left the house dressed as santa claus

But he didn't come home last night Have you seen him god I hope he's allright