Badtimes (Peel Session)

If you receive an e mail with a subject of Badtimes delete it immediately

WITHOUT reading it

This is the most dangerous e mail virus yet

It will re write your hard drive

Not only that but it will scramble any

Disks that are even close to your computer

It will recalibrate your

Refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts

It will

Demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards screw up the tracking on

Your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to render any CDs you try to play

Unreadable

It will mix

Antifreeze into your fishtank

It will drink all your beer and leave its

Socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over

It will put

A dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys

When you are late for work

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin

It will give you

Nightmares about circus midgets

It will pour sugar in your gas tank and

Your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card

It will seduce your grandmother

It does not matter if she is dead such is

The power of Badtimes it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things

We hold most dear

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it

It will

Kick your dog

It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail

In your voice

It is insidious and subtle

It is dangerous and terrifying to behold

It is

Also a rather interesting shade of mauve

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease

It will leave the toilet seat up

It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave bacon

Cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your

New snowblower

These are just a few of the signs

Be very very careful