The Dark Town Poker Club

The Dark Town Poker Club - Phil Harris

Bill Jackson was a poor old dub

Who joined the darktown poker club

But cursed the day

Told them he would join

His money used to go like it had wings

If he yelled queens someone had kings

And each night

He would contribute all his coin

Then he said I'm gonna

Play them tight tonight

He said there'll be

No bobtail flushes make me bite

Cause when I gets in them

My hands will be a peach

He played them tight

But lost his pile

And bill got peevish after a while

So he rose looked all around

And made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

Now I'm coming in there with my rules

That you must follow when you play

Now keep your big bony hands on the table

While you dealing please

And don't be slipping them aces down there

Er in between your knees

And don't be making all them funny signs

Like you trying to tip off your hand

Just talk in American boy American

So I can understand

And don't be dealing off the bottom

Because ooh that's rough

Take five five then stop that's enough

Now when you bet put up the chips

Because I don't like it when you shy

Then if you get busted

Go on out and get some

I'm gonna be here by and by

Pass them cards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deals

Then if anything's wrong I must see

Cause I mean you always ain't no er

Keep playing that game according to Mr Hoyle

You all play this game according to me

Now sitting right there in that there clan

There chance to be a one-eyed man

And bill kept watching him

Out the corner of his eye

When ole one-eye would deal and then

Would cost that bill another five or ten

Bill got up again

Looked all around him with a sigh

He said

Lord this is an awful shame

He said there someone cheating in this ere game

He said it goes er

It ain't no do for me to name the guy

So I'll refrain from mentioning the party's name

If I catch him cheating just once again

I'm gonna take my fist and close that other eye

Now you see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

I'm coming in there with my own rules

That you must follow when you play

Hey kid keep your hands up there

While you're giving them out please

Stop putting them wildies

Down there between your knees

Stop making all them funny signs

Like you're trying to tip off your hand

Keep talking in American big AAA

That's what I can understand

And don't be getting them off the bottom

Because I keep trying to tell you It's rough

This an army game

Five five halt

That's enough

Now when you bet let me

See the reds and blues

Cause I don't like it when you shy

Then if you run out of gas

Go get pumped up

I'm gonna be here by and by

Pass them pasteboards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deal let me ripple

Anything wrong I wanna see

I mean you always ain't

Gonna keep playing the game now

According to that Mr Hoyle

You all gonna play this game according to me

Henry if you break the seal

On that new deck of bicycles

We'll go on from here yeah

Yeah yeah yeah