The Waiter & The Porter & The Upstairs Maid

The Waiter and the Porter and the Upstairs Maid (Original Soundtrack from 'Birth of the Blues') - Bing Crosby (平克·劳斯)

As your genial host may I offer a toast

To the wine buying guest on my right

(Hooray for the wine buyer)

(Spoken)

Yes drag out the cooking sherry for the old colonel

(Sung)

May his bank account grow heavy laden with dough

May he spend it in here every night

(Every night)

Seeing this night in its glory

You people so loyal so true

Puts me in mind of a story

(MM)

Tell us about it pray do-o-o-o-o-o

(BC)

The people in the ballroom were stuffy and arty

So I began to get just a little bit frayed

I sneaked into the kitchen I dug me a party

The waiter

(JT)

And the porter

(MM)

And the second storey maid

(BC)

I peeked into the parlour to see what was a-hatchin br />

In time to hear the hostess suggest a charade

(MM)

But who was in the pantry a-laughin an scratchin br />

(BC)

Oh The waiter

(JT)

And the porter

(MM)

And the upstairs maid

(JT)

When they heard the music that the orchestra played

(MM)

The waiter and the porter grabbed a-hold of the maid

(BC)

Then they all proceeded to go into a clog

(All)

Hot diggedy dog

(BC)

If ever I'm invited to some fuddy-duddy's

I ain't-a-gonna watch any harlequinade

(JT)

You'll find him in the kitchen applaudin his buddies

(BC)

The waiter

(JT)

And the porter

(MM)

And the upstairs maid

(BC)

Well pardon me folks the roast is carved

The wine is served why you look half starved

(JT)

Pardon me sir may we be free

(JT & MM)

The kitchen guard is havin a jamboree

(Orchestral break)

(MM)

I went and got a dish pan to use as a cymbal

(BC)

The porter found the regular glass that he played

(JT)

The fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble

(ALL)

You should-a heard the music that the combination made

(MM)

I went and got a dishpan to use a cymbal

(BC)

The porter found the regular glass that he played

(JT)

The fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble

(MM & JT)

You should of heard the music that the combination made

(BC & MM)

Marchin through the kitchen to the pantry and back

Why man you should-a seen us we were ballin the jack

Once a half an hour passed without any call

(JT)

Jack we had a ball

(MM)

The waltzes and mazurkas we hate 'em we spurn 'em

(JT)

We got a lot of rhythms we wanna hear played

(BC)

Yes and we know who to go to when we want to learn 'em

(All)

The waiter and the porter and the upstairs maid