Gather in the Mushrooms

Gather In The Mushrooms - Benny Hill/Sophia Loren

Lucy went down on a farm tried to milk a cow

Though she tried she couldn't

Get the hang of it somehow

The farmer looked at Lucy

And murmured with a frown

"Well you just hang on tightly

Gal and she'll jump up and down "

Oh gather in the mushrooms put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven an serve them piping hot

To make herself more beautiful

She thought she'd bathe in milk

She said "I'll have a bathful "

To her milkman Jackie Wilke

He said

"Do you want it pasturized before I pour it in "

She said

"No I'll be happy if it comes up to my chin "

Oh gather in the mushrooms

Put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven

An serve them piping hot

The farmer called at Lucy one dark

And stormy night

She said "You are too old for me

Because your hair is white "

He looked into her eyes

And then he knew he'd have to tell her

"There's snow upon the roof

But there's a fire in the cellar "

Oh gather in the mushrooms

Put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven

An serve them piping hot

She took him in the kitchen

She was his turtle dove

And then she started cooking

Dumplings on the stove

She wore a low cut dress

Oh it was as green as clover

He jumped with glee

'Cause he could see her dumplings boiling over

Oh gather in the mushrooms

Put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven

An serve them piping hot

She said

"You give me half a crown I will read your palm "

And then she saw his love line

Went half way up his arm

So now she's changed her prices

Although she's just as willing

It's big fat men at two pound ten

And little boys a shilling

Oh gather in the mushrooms put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven and serve them piping hot

We're gonna gather in the mushrooms

Put them in a pot

Pop them in the oven and serve them pi ping hot