Hostess With The Mostes’ (from "Call Me Madam")

Hostess With The Mostes' - Ethel Merman

Call Me Madam

I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land

Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand

One day father started digging in a field

Hoping to find some soil

He dug and he dug and what do you think

Oil oil oil

The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high

Washington was my destination

And now who am I

I'm the chosen party giver

For the White House clientele

And they know that I deliver

What it takes to make 'em jell

And in Washington I'm known by one and all

As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

They could go to Elsa Maxwell

When they had an axe to grind

They could always grind their axe well

At the parties she designed

Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call

On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

I've a great big bar and good caviar

Yes the best that can be found

And a large amount in my bank account

When election time comes round

Entertaining vodka drinkers

Is a job they give to me

Making nice guys out of stinkers

Seems to be my cup of tea

What they really need behind the iron wall

Is the hostess with the mostest on the ball

In the handbag that I'll carry

There's a precious little note

To their highnesses from Harry

Introducing me he wrote

I'll appreciate a favor large or small

For the hostess

Who the hostess with the mostes' on the ball