We Have To Keeop Up With The Jone's

We've Got to Keep up with the Jones's - Gracie Fields

There's a family called

Joneses come lived next to us

And they're causing our family no end of a fuss

They're very posh people

You know by their clothes

He wears plus-fours

And she talks down 'er nose

We used to be 'appy 'til they came our way

Now everything's altered

I'm sorry to say

'Cos we've got to keep up

With the Joneses

We do just whatever they do

They're so very cork-tipped

That Mother got pipped

And said we would show them oo's oo

When dinner is ready Ma bangs on a gong

She puts in 'er aitches and gets them all wrong

And Dad says 'e might 'ave a bath before long

'Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses

Yes they did

We've got to keep up with the Joneses

Last Monday was their washing day

And when Mother saw what Mrs Jones wore

She bought a pair right away

Said dad

Aren't you cold in them thin celonese

Said Mother

I was 'til I hit on this wheeze

I'm wearing my fleecy ones underneath these

'Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses

Yes they did

'Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses

Our manners improve every day

Even Grandma says Pardon

And runs down the garden

When her food has gone down the wrong way

Our Gert gave our

Bert such a sloshin' one night

She said

Stop that scratchin' it isn't polite

When there's company present you

Just let 'em bite

'Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses

Joneses Joneses Joneses

We've got to keep up with the Joneses