Waiter, Oh Waiter

Waiter, Oh Waiter - Stacey Kent/Jeremy Brown/John Parricelli/Josh Morrison/Graham Harvey/Jim Tomlinson

Waiter waiter waiter waiter oh waiter please come to my rescue

I cannot understand a word that's written on this menu

Not that I'm unaccustomed to this kind of smart cuisine

But what you've handed me is in a language I've never seen

And the way my companion here keeps gazing over at me

Makes me feel like I'm drifting further and further out to sea

Everything looks so frightening

Everything here looks so nice

Oh waiter please waiter

I really need your advice

Waiter oh waiter I feel so embarrassed

If this is really french it's not the kind they use in paris

What is this crab and lobster foam what's in this cassoulet

Why my companion's so at home so terribly au fait

I need some words of wisdom I need you to take my side

For very soon I know will come the moment to decide

Won't you help me through this menu

Won't you please just catch my eye

So waiter oh waiter

Please help me out tonight

Underneath that stiff tuxedo you must be human too

You'll have had your days of heartache

And days when your dreams came true

So waiter oh waiter please help me out tonight

Waiter oh waiter please come to my rescue

Oh let this be the sort of thing your service can extend to

Not that I'm unaccustomed to this kind of smart cuisine

But this menu is as baffling as anything I've ever seen

And the way he looks across at me with his sardonic gaze

Makes me feel I'm drifting further out into the choppy waves

Everything looks so frightening everything here looks so nice

Oh waiter please waiter

I really need your advice

Underneath that stiff tuxedo you must be human too

You'll have had your days of heartbreak

And days when your dreams came true

So waiter oh waiter

So waiter oh waiter

Waiter please waiter waiter oh waiter waiter oh waiter

Waiter please waiter waiter