Christmas in Jail

Old Daddy can't be there for Christmas

I'm sure your Momma told you things

Well first, she never understood me

But I don't want to talk about that now

Now, Daddy hates to be away from you at Christmas

But don't you worry, I'm doing fine inside

I made you a toothpick Eiffel Tower

I got three squares and I'm making a kinda wine

This punishment is cruel and unusual

Well I did my best, but the system said I failed

Don't lie awake and wonder whether Santa visits me

There's even Christmas in jail

Well I had a stack of presents for you, darlin'

Though the sheriff took them down to Evidence

Now, I don't want to put this burden on you

Would you have your mother bring me cigarettes?

You know you're always first in my affection

With good behavior, I'll be out in two

As far as all that money that went missing

Well it's not for your mother, it's for you (minus expenses)

This punishment is cruel and unusual

This punishment is cruel and unusual

This punishment is cruel and unusual

Well I did my best, but the system said I failed

Well I did my best, but the system said I failed

Well I did my best, but the system said I failed

Don't lie awake and wonder whether Santa visits me

Don't lie awake and wonder whether Santa visits me

Don't lie awake and wonder whether Santa visits me

Don't lie awake and wonder whether Santa visits me

There's even Christmas in jail

There's even Christmas in jail

There's even Christmas in jail

There's even Christmas in jail

Yessir

Well the Mess Hall's serving turkey tetrazinni

I got my stocking hung up right above the john, yep

From my little window, I can see the starlight

They're the same old stars that you'll be wishing on