Not a Player

Not a Player - Dan Bull

Lyrics by：Dan Bull

Composed by：Dan Bull

I'm not a player I just suck a lot

I couldn't give a shucking

Fit whether we win the cup or not

In real life I can't even kick it

I've never been to a match

Let alone bought a season ticket ahh

There's no denying my skill though

I can dribble all over my pillow

I can't do a scissor kick but I can kick scissors

And sue whoever manufactured them for six figures

I'm a man on a mission with ambition

To be the sickest soccer kickist in my position

At school I liked playing defender a bit

'Cause I could have a chit chat

Down the end of the pitch

With my friend who was s**t

We used to collect stickers

But we'd get suspicious even at the scent of a kit

But now I want to make it in the premiership

If you don't have faith I will

It'll offend me you prick

I'm the son of a b***h that'll run on the pitch

So awkward you'll think that were was some kind of glitch

And within a couple of minutes I'll have stitch

I don't want to put the effort in

I just want to be rich

I'm the son of a b***h that'll run on the pitch

So awkward you'll think

That were was some kind of glitch

And within a couple of minutes I'll have stitch

I don't want to put the effort in

I just want to be rich

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot hah huh

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot ah oi

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot heyey

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot yeah ey

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot

I tripped over my laces and nearly grazed my knuckle off

I can't even recall a time my side won

My keepy uppy record is like none

By gum my chum why try when I

Can just hide inside sat on my bum

Twiddle my thumbs on the Joypad I'd enjoy that

Taped over the final to annoy Dad

So call the boy bad I call it fair play

I'm not a good sport or good at sport I'm bare bait

Stuck kicking a snare across the airwaves

Better at rap than football I dare say

Though get in the way of my goal and get battered

Your reputation wrecked tattered

Sepp Blatter

I'm a professional athlete 'cept fatter

You'll never get me to a track meet I'm already knackered

Yeah

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot hah huh

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot ah oi

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot heyey

I'm not a player 'cause I suck a lot yeah ey