Creepy Old Guy

Way back when

I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used

Kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys!

We all do!

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses!

Saggy old asses!

It's cute and vile-

"Hey baby, smile!"

To each girl that passes!

They make me blush!

Can't get enough!

That's right!

Marrying my own creepy old guy!

I'm a creepy old guy!

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry!

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy!

My creepy old groom!

Creepy old groom!

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside!

I am older, but I'm glad I waited!

'Cuz here comes the bride!

I am marrying my creepy old guy

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy

My creepy old guy!

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!

Fix his hair, get him prepared

For Armageddon

Sure, the groom crawled out of a tomb-

But hey, hey, it's a wedding!

So dim the lights

Pick up some rice

Say something nice!

It's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy!

It's showtime!

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy!

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine!

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive!

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right (Making it right, making it right!)

With my family by my side

(Oh, this is fun I don't usually dance but oh well. A dance break on an album! Amazing!)

O-M-G

Dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife

L'chaim! To life!

This is so normal!

I was ignored, but now, I'm adored!

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride!

Here comes the bride, here comes the bride

God be glorified!

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right! (Yeah, that's right!)

Let's make him alive!

I am marrying my creepy old guy!

Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy!

I have chills!

Yeah!