The Lady's Paying

The Lady's Paying - Classical Artists

Written by：Don Black/Christopher Hampton/Andrew Lloyd Webber

Norma：

Hurry up the birthday boy is on his way

This is a surprise celebration

I hope you've remembered everything I've said

I want to see a total transformation

Joe：

What's all this

Norma：

Happy birthday darling

Did you think we'd forgotten

Joe：

Well I don't know

Norma：

These people are from the best men's shop in town

I had them close it down for a day

Joe：

Norma now listen

Norma：

I'll leave you boys to it

Manfred：

Happy birthday welcome to your shopathon

Joe：

What's going on

Manfred：

Help yourself it's all been taken care of

Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me

Joe：

Well golly gee

Manfred：

Pick out anything you like a pair of

You just point I'll do the rest

I have brought nothing but the best

You're a very lucky writer

Come along now get undressed

Unless I'm much mistaken

That's a 42 inch chest

Joe：

I don't understand a word you're saying

Manfred：

Well all you need to know's the lady's paying

It's nice to get your just reward this time of year

Joe：

Get out of here

Manfred：

And all my merchandise is strictly Kosher

When you've thrown away all your old worn out stuff

Joe：

Hey that's enough

Manfred：

Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure

I have just a thing for you chalk stripe suits

Salesman：

In black

Or blue

Glen paid trousers

Cashmere sweaters

Bathing shorts for Malibu

Here's a patent leather lace up

It's a virtuoso shoe

Manfred：

And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna

Joe：

You know what you can do with your vicuna

Norma：

Come on Joe you haven't even started yet

Joe：

You wanna bet

Norma：

I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion

He always takes forever making up his mind don't be unkind

I thought you writer knew about compassion

I love Flannel on a man

Manfred：

This will complement his tan

Norma：

We'll take two of these and four of those

Manfred：

I'm still your greatest fan

Very soon now we'll have stopped him looking like an also ran

Joe：

You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying

Norma：

Well all right I'll choose after all I'm paying

Manfred：

Evening clothes

Norma：

I want to see your most deluxe

Joe：

Won't wear a tux

Norma：

Of course not dear tuxedos are for waiters

Manfred：

What we need are tails a white tie and top hat

Joe：

I can't wear that

Norma：

Joe second rate clothes are for second raters

Joe：

Norma please

Norma：

Shut up I'm rich

Not some platinum blonde B***h

I own so many apartments

I've forgotten which is which

Joe：

I don't have to go to premieres

I'm never on display

You seem to forget that I'm a writer

Who cares what you wear when you're a writer

Norma：

I care Joe and please don't be so mean to me

Joe：

OK all right

Norma：

You can't come to my New Year's Eve party

In that filling station shirt

Joe：

I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve

Norma：

Where

Joe：

Artie Green

He's an old friend of mine

Norma：

I can't do without you Joe I need you

I've sent out every single invitation

Joe：

All right Norma I give in

Norma：

Of course you do

And when they've dressed you

You'll cause a sensation

Salesmen：

We equip the chosen few of movieland

Manfred：

The latest cut

Salesmen：

We dress every movie star and crooner

From their shiny toecaps to their hatband

Manfred：

Conceal your gut

You won't regret selecting the vicuna

Salesmen：

If you need a hand to shake

If there's a girl you want to make

If there's a soul you're out to capture

Or a heart you want to break

If you want the world to love you

Manfred：

You'll have to learn to take

Salesmen：

And gracefully accept the role you're playing

Manfred：

You will earn every cent the lady's paying

Salesmen：

So why not have it all

Manfred：

Now that didn't hurt did it

Salesmen：

The lady's paying