I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks (Album Version|Explicit)

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks (Album Version|Explicit) - Bloodhound Gang

If your a** is a chinese restaurant

I'll have the poo poo platter

My friend jerry vandergrift kissed me in home class

Later in the afternoon some jarheads

In the locker room kicked my a**

I said guys I'm like you

I like monster trucks too

Wanna see how many push ups I can do

I just wish I was queer so I could get

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

But if I were handsome

Just imagine how great it would be

Incognito as gay though but not actually

That way though pseudo homo phony

Maybe it'sa stupid theory or maybe just stupidity

But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry

Scoring with a super model would be easy

Cause super model means voluptuous

But is also is synonomous with super dumb

Ya see I'd be a good listener so shed treat

Me like a sister and soon I'd become

That trusted friend that cares

That rubs her back and braids her hair

No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear

I wish I was queer so I could get

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Doesn't matter what I'm packin in

My denim it'swhat's in my genes

The only smoked meat the only sausage

I would eat is made by jimmy dean

See I'm not to keen on the smell of vaseline

No I'm not princess di and I don't wanna be a queen

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay

I'd have to change my name to dirk or lewis

Hang out with my moms hair stylist

His name is kip hes got a lisp he talks like this

And wear my mothers lingerie learn the songs of broadway

And appreciate depeche mode and avant garde ballet

I wish I was queer so I could get

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny

Don't shave my heiny

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny

Don't shave my heiny

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

And I don't shave my heiny

Don't shave my heiny

See I'm not queer I'm too ugly