Once an Addict (Interlude|Explicit)

Once an Addict (Interlude) (Interlude|Explicit) - J. Cole

Right right right right

Something's got a hold on me right

Right right

Sometimes I think pain is just a lack of understanding

If we could only understand it all

Would we feel no pain

Would we feel no pain

Would we feel no pain

God must feel no pain

Something's got a hold on me

Only joy

Does this mean even our suffering pleases him

Lost in a cloud of m*******a

Young Carolina n***a fish out of water

Step-daddy just had a daughter with another woman

Mama ain't recover yet

Callin' me at 12 at night

She drunk as f**k and I'm upset

'Cause why she always using me for crutch

Growin' up I used to always see her up

Late as s**t cigarette smoke

And greatest hits from Marvin Gaye

She kill a whole bottle of some cheap chardonnay

I gotta leave this house

'Cause part of me dies when I see her like this

Too young to deal with pain

I'd rather run the streets than see her kill herself

So 'Ville became my escape from a feelin' I hate

Mama cursing me out

Depression's such a villainous state

I used to stay out later on purpose

Subconsciously I was nervous that

If I came home early

Then what would surface was her inner demons

And then I'd have to end up seein' my hero on ground zero

Tears flow where Al Green blow

Love and happiness

I wish that I could say the right words to cheer her up

I wish her son's love was enough

I tell her Mama go to sleep

She tell me

Boy hush

You better pray to God

You never get your heart crushed

I shake my head in frustration

Head to my room

And I can still hear the tunes of my door shut

F**k it though a couple more months I'll be gone

Off to college and dorms

Foolin' myself thinkin' problems are gone

But now it's 1 AM and my mama diallin' my phone

I know she intoxicated and soon this high

That I'm on comes crashin' down

She lit talkin' drunk s**t I'm pissed

But I'm still all ears like Pass the ounce

Thinkin' to myself

Maybe my mama need help

Don't she got work it the morning

Why she do this to herself

Hate how she slurrin' her words

Soundin' so f**kin' absurd

This ain't the woman I know

Why I just sit and observe

Why don't I say how I feel

When I do she's defensive for real

Well maybe things get better with time I heard it heals

Little did I know how deep her sadness would go

Lookin' back I wish I woulda did more instead of running

Something's got a hold on me

I can't let it go

Out of fear I won't be free

Something's got a hold on me

I can't let it go

Out of fear I won't be

No

Something's got a hold on me

I can't let it go

Right right

Life can bring much pain right right

There are many ways to deal with this pain right

Choose wisely