Telephone (Reversed Charge Remix)

Television (Radio Edit) - Baxter

I'm awakened by the incessant ringing of a telephone

I still have dreams caked in the corners of my eyes

And my mouth is dry and tastes shitty

Again the ringing

Slowly I bustle out of bed

The remnants of an erection still lingering in my shorts

Like a bothersome guest

Again the ringing

Carefully I abscond to the bathroom

As to not display my manhood to others

There I make the perfunctory morning faces

Which always seem to precede my daily contribution

To the once-blue toilet water

That I always enjoy making green

Again the ringing

I shake twice like most others

And I'm annoyed by the dribble that always seems to remain

Causing a small acreage of wetness on the front of my briefs

I slowly languidly lazily crazily

Stumble into the den

Where my father smokes his guitars

I mean cigars

In his easy chair

I know all about easy chairs

And then I sing a song for my friends

Jesus is my boyfriend

Jesus is my boyfriend

Ringing ringing

Dang it goddamn motherf**king son-of-a-b**ch is ringing

I walk into the kitchen and I

Stare blankly at that shrieking plastic bastard

Since it keeps ringing I know it's her

And since it keeps ringing she knows it's me