Majorca (Live from Rafters, Manchester, 1979)

Majorca (Live from Rafters, Manchester, 1979) - John Cooper Clarke

Fasten your seatbelts says a voice

Inside the plane you can't hear no noise

Engines made by rolls royce

Take your choice

Make mine majorca

Check out the parachutes

Can't be found

Alert those passengers

They'll be drowned

Friendly mug says settle down

When I came round I was gagged and bound

For majorca

And the eyes caress

The neat hostess

Her unapproachable flip finesse

They've got little bags if you wanna make a mess

I fancied cuba but it cost me less

To majorca

Whose blonde sand fondly kisses the cool the blue mediteranean

They packed us into the white hotel

You could still smell the polycell

Wet white paint in the air-conditioned cells

The waiter smelled of fake chanel

Gauloises garlic as well

Says if I want I can call him miguel

Well really

I got drunk with another fella

Who'd just brought up a previous paella

He wanted a fight but said they were yella

In majorca

The guitars rang and the castinets clicked

The double diamond flowed like sick

Mother's pride tortilla and chips