Amish Paradise [In the Style of ""Weird" Al Yankovic"]

Amish Paradise (In the Style of ""Weird" Al Yankovic") - Done Again

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain

I take a look at my wife

And realize she's very plain

But that's just perfect for an amish like me

You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At four-thirty in the morning I'm milking cows

Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows fool

And I've been milking and plowing so long that

Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline

Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin

But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine

Then tonight were gonna party like it's sixteen ninety-nine

We been spending most our lives

Living in an amish paradise

I've churned butter once or twice

Living in an amish paradise

It's hard work and sacrifice

Living in an amish paradise

We sell quilts at a discount price

Living in an amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week

I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek

I really don't care in fact I wish him well

'Cause I'll be laughing my head off

When he's burning in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it

An amish with a tude

You know that's unheard of

I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat

And my homies agree

I really look good in black fool

If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears

We haven't even paid the phone

Bill in three hundred years

But we ain't really quaint

So please don't point and stare

Were just technologically impaired

There's no phone no lights no motorcar

Not a single luxury

Like Robinson Caruso

It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives

Living in an amish paradise

Were just plain and simple guys

Living in an amish paradise

There's no time for sin and vice

Living in an amish paradise

We don't fight we all play nice

Living in an amish paradise

Hitching up the buggy churning lots of butter

Raised a barn on monday soon I'll raise anutter

Think you're really righteous

Think you're pure in heart

Well I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art

I'm the pious guy the little amlettes want to be like

On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife

So don't be vain and don't be whiny

Or else my brother

I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives

Living in an amish paradise

Were all crazy mennonites

Living in an amish paradise

There's no cops or traffic lights

Living in an amish paradise

But you'd probably think it bites

Living in an amish paradise