If Shania Was Mine

If Shania Was Mine - The Hit Crew

If Shania was mine

Wouldn't be proud of me

Couldn't hardly blame her

Cuz I'm so derned ugly

But on our first date

We could have a good time

If I got her on the moonshine

If Shania was mine

Say it fit just right

Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight

And there's no way

I'd have a bad hair day

Cuz I'd buy a new toupee'

Oh I'd love to seduce her

But she married her producer

Now all I do is pray pray pray

She'll get a deevorce someday

If Shania was mine

I'd probably lose my mind

If she only squeezed me teased me

Pleased me one good time

And if she only knew

All the things I'd do

I'd be the lawn mowin crop growin

Tater peelin house cleanin kind

If Shania was mine

Ha huh

If Shania was mine

She'd have to agree

Can't no one cook road kill better than me

Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback

She'd say Mmm I like it like that cha

Now all I do is wonder

Whose bed have her boots been under

I wish she'd hadda been mine

Now I whine whine

That girl is so doggone fine

If Shania was mine

I think I'd go slap blind

Starin' at her yummy little tummy

And her booty shakin' round behind

And if she only knew

All the things I'd do

I'd be the lawn mowin' crop growin'

Tater peelin' house cleanin' kind

If Shania if Shania if Shania

If Shania if Shania

Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yoke

When she shimmies and shakes

It's more than I can take

Oh what she does to me in them videos

Wife's gonna leave me if I don't explain

What I see in Shania Twain

I'd love to see her in a magazine

Centerfold if you know what I mean

Oh me-a oh my-a

I wish that Shania

Would buy me a house in South Carolina

Two four six eight nine

Oh I wish that Shania was mine

He he he huh huh

Want to be a gal of mine