Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday

Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday - Brad Paisley/The Kung Pao Buckaroos

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents

A special holiday edition of the adventures of the kung pao buckaroos

Well it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

It's a completely non offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold

December night huddled around the camp fire

How about we sing some holiday songs

Yeah hey george you wanna lead us off

Yeah I got one

Oh chri biip mas tree oh chri biip mas tree how lovely are thou branched

Why am I getting blipped again

Haven't you heard guys you can't say chri biip mas you gotta say holiday

I can't say chri biip mas

No you might offend somebody

Who is offended by chri biip mas

You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists

What

Time to politically correct

I'll lead this off

On the first day of chri biip mas my true love said to me

Jimmy are you listening

What

You can't say chri biip mas

Why not

You can say biiiip on the last record

Why can't I say chri biip mas

I didn't make the rules

Hey listen guys it's not that difficult

All you gotta do is change chri biip mas to holiday

You know instead of saying white chri biip mas you say

I'm dreaming of a whi biiip holiday

Why did I get blipped

You've got to say caucasian

So I have to sing I'm dreaming of a caucasian holiday

Sure that won't offend anybody

Well it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

Why do these people have to feel that way

How come they get offended so easily

It's a completely non offensive and politically correct holiday

I'm just trying to come up with a song here

Let's sing one together everybody ready george

Ready

Bill your ready

I'm ready

Jimmy jimmy jimmy

Okay

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far

Sorry boys you have to say asia now

What

Oh come on just try

We three kings of asia are

That sounds like horse biiiip

Oh lord okay how about little drummer boy

Nope that offends short people

And you can't say drummer cause that will offend real musicians

How about little town of meddle hell

What's this with all the short jokes

Hey how about we do silent night

No it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark

What did he say about a shark

Shark

This happens every year

Well it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday

Whatever you do watch what you say

If you're easily offended well that's okay

It's a completely non offensive and politically correct holiday

Hohoho

No

I can't say ho

No you might offend some women

So basically we can't sing anything

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip

Softer george it's more effective

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip

You now what I don't care who we offend

I'm gonna sing chri biip mas carols if I wanna sing chri biip mas carols

Louder man it's more effective

I don't care who we offend

I'm gonna sing chri biip mas carols if I wanna sing chri biip mas carols

Me too

We wish you a merry chri biip mas

We wish you a merry chri biip mas

We wish you a merry chri biip mas and a happy ne biip year

We can't say new it'll offend the old folks

And you never wanna offend them