Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker

ERB-Harry Potter vs. Luke Skywalker

Dave Brown as Harry Potter

Nice Peter as Luke Skywalker

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

HARRY POTTER

VERSUS

LUKE SKYWALKER

BEGIN

Harry:

Accio mic

Let me fire up the wand

like Hermione and Ron

I'm about to get it on

cause my mouth spits hot

like Incendio flames

you're Lukewarm

like some Tauntaun remains

Even the mad eye

of my man Alastor Moody

could see your franchise

only has two decent movies

Search your feelings

do you sense deja vu

You're getting smoked like your

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru

Your acting is flat

and your raps are 2D too

bugger off to the afterlife

where you're fat and see-through

You're the biggest let down

in your series since Snoke

it makes sense your father's Vader

all you do is choke

You country bumpkin

You must be dumb

who farms moisture

on a desert planet with two suns

Let me sitck my plans

in your Dusty Bin droid

I'll leave you like a Horcrux

split up and destroyed

Luke:

I don't know

who made your shoot first

but that missed

if I was you

I'd have a bad feelings about this

I'm a rhyming Jedi

like my father before me

you're talking hat

should put you in Gryffindorky

Your origin story

is mostly stolen from me

you might be Potter

but harry

I planted your seed

Let's see little orphan

raised by relative in solitude

suddenly gets taken under wing

of funky wizard dude

learns that he's been destined

to have powerful gifts

but between the two of us

I think I got the cooler stick

Swing it

My mic saber cuts through you

so slicey

leave you on the floor

like an arm at Mos Eisley

hit you with the Warmpa raps

I get icy

land them on your face like

Han:

That'll do nicely

Luke:

I fly the X-Wing

to save a planet from massacre

you fly a broom

like some kind of magical janitor

Your Dumble-dweeb army

likes to think that you're the best

all you did was use your momma

like a bulletproof vest

Harry:

The death of my mother

saved the wizarding race

Your mom died of heartache

when she saw your face

You swamp school dropout

you're too whiney to rhyme

at least when I Slytherin the sister

she isn't MINE

I'm the boy who lived

a best seller without equal

I''ll split you like your fan base's

like

feelings 'bout the prequels

The sequels brout you back

to meet your demise

I'd say you were brilliant

but I MUST NOT TELL LIES

I let J.K. straight

Rollwling in cash

You let J.J. compact

your character to trash

So go on try and force

more of your disses

you're like Stormtrooper

'cuz all your sh*t missed

(R2D2's beep)

Luke:

That's right R2

it does sound like he left

all his fire in the goblet

(R2D2's beep)

Luke:

haha

maybe he will get rescued

by an anorexic hobbit

I think it's pretty clear that

you and I are pretty different

my drive's hyper

your drive's Privet

I got more rhymes

than sand grains on Tatooine

you couldn't pull in the win

with a tractor beam

I crushed the empire

a galaxy large

I blew up the Death Star

you blew up Aunt Marge

I'll pop you where Poppy Pomfrey

can't be healing you

unlike a great distubance

in the Force I'm not feeling you

Death would eat you up

without Hermione and luck

because your own skill

Wingardium Levio-SUCK

You're a dud like Dursley

but worse

and I'd rather herd nerf

than have to endure

your third verse

Harry:

Have you heard rap before

That was not dope at all

maybe have Goldieball

show you the protocol

But I bet you're just distracted

you got a lot on your plate

on one hand the reballion

on the other hand

oh wait

I roll deep

and the Weasley got my back

Ron:

This muggle sucks more hole

than the bloody Sarlacc

Freddy&George:

We'll rough you up good

if you try to step to Harry mate

You're the least intimidating twin

since Marry-Kate

I flow like butter beer

on Diagon streets

you can find me getting

fantastic on these beats

it's over Luke

I got the highgroud advantage

I'll close it like a map

MISCHIEF MANAGED

Luke:

You should have Hagrid

fly you home on his moped

if I wanted teenage wizardry

I'd call Selena Gomez

My attack tactics

are galactically hardcore

far more than your goofy little scar war

I learned flow

from the best in the biz

Yoda:

Get frunky

Luke:

So of you the end this is

Yoda:

Maclunkey

Luke:

My Jedi mind tricks

put the nix on your Imperius

trip you up like Deathesticks

I'm Bellatrix dead Sirius

No need to expelliarmus

you're harmless in a duel

call me the Hogwarts Express

I just took you to school

WHO WON

WHO'S NEXT

YOU DECIDE

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY