My Home Town

My Home Town - Tom Lehrer

I really have a yen

To go back once again

Back to the place where no one wears a frown

To see once more those super-special just plain folks

In my home town

No fellow could ignore

The little girl next door

She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown

Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free

In my home town

I remember dan the druggist on the corner 'e

Was never mean or ornery

He was swell

He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well

And sprinkled just a bit

Over each banana split

The guy that taught us math

Who never took a bath

Acquired a certain measure of renown

And after school he sold the most amazing pictures

In my home town

That fellow was no fool

Who taught our sunday school

And neither was our kindly parson brown

We're recording tonight so I have to leave this line out

In my home town

I remember sam he was the village idiot

And though it seems a pity it

Was so

He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow

And nothing could be done

Because he was the mayor's son

The guy that took a knife

And monogrammed his wife

Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown

Oh yes indeed the people there are just plain folks

In my home town