Ace Insurance Man

Two men sittin in straight back chairs

Feet propped up on the railin

Sittin in front of the country store

Discussin how the crops were failin

About that time a car drove by

With an Ace Insurance bumper sticker

Well that must be the man been courtin Abell

He's somethin of a city slicker

Ah you can tell just from the way he's drivin that car

Do you reckon he's goin up to see Abell

You know her daddy went to Maben this day

And her mommas been in Arkansas with her ailin pa

Ain't nobody home that way

Ha ha accept Abell

Now I don't mean nothing by what I say

But if you won't say it I can

She ain't got no bid'ness alone

With that Ace Insurance man

Why there's just no tellin what might happen

People ought to keep an eye on they're kids

You remember about Abby Mcguinness

Why'it lik'ta kill'ed her ma when she found out about it

Course I know it ain't none of my bid'ness

But uh well if it was me if it was me

It might be too late and it would be a pity

Better call up the sheriff in Calhoun city

And have the preacher organize a vestigating committee

To see what's going on

Yes sir and we'd better hurry

Tearing down the road in a pickup truck

With Bentley out taking the lead

Followed by a tractor and a half lame mule

Dust flyin as they picked up speed

Faces beaming goodness and their jaw's set hard

Good people just doin what's right

And off in the distance was Abell's house

And there wasn't a soul in sight

Aw I could'a told you

Oh I just knew it

Now the gravel was flying as he turned the bend

And screeched to a grinding halt

They went through the fence into the flower bed

And hit pa's first prize hog in the head

And left half a dozen mama's chickens for dead

But it wasn't nobody's fault

Oh look at Harvey's prize hog

And all of them darlin' old grown bad trusty chickens

We got more important things to tend to boy

I wonder if they're covered

Committee bounded on the front porch

To meet the enemy face to face

But Abell yelled at em through the screen door

Y'all messed up my daddy's place

But in her hand she waved a policy

Sayin with a Mona Lisa grin

Well y'all timed that one just about right

'Cause Ace done struck again