Army

Well i thought about the army

Dad said son you're f**king high

And i thought yeah there's a first for everything

So i took my old man's advice

Three sad semesters

It was only fifteen grand spent in bed

I thought about the army

I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a moustache and a mullet

Got a job at chic-fil-a

Citing artistic differences

The band broke up in may

And in june reformed without me

And they'd got a different name

I nuked another grandma's apple pie

And hung my head in shame

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

Oh i think i'll write a screenplay

Oh i think i'll take it to LA

Oh i think i'll get it done yesterday

In this time of introspection

On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection

God please spare me more rejection

'Cause my peers they criticize me

And my ex-wives all despise me

Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army