Bizarre Christmas Incident (Explicit)

Bizarre Christmas Incident (Explicit) - Ben Folds

Written by：Ben Folds

Christmas Eve I didn't get much sleep

I kept hearing things

Heavy breathing from the chimney

Who could it be

In the morning

I couldn't believe my eyes

A whale of a corpe with a long white beard

Was dangling over the fire

Oh Santa he's a big fat f**k

Went down the chimney got his fat a** stuck

Oh honey call the lawyers fast

'Cause Mrs Clause is gonna sue my a**

Hey hey hey

I gotta tell you folks

He wasn't wearin' no clothes

He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil

From his back down to his toes

While I was talking to the cops outside

The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs

They hauled him away in a double wide

What a sad sad way to die

Hey hey hey

Santa he's a big fat f**k

Went down the chimney got his fat a** stuck

Oh honey call the lawyers fast

Mrs Claus is gonna sue our a**