I Spy

I spy a boy I spy a girl

I spy the worst place in the world

In the whole wide world

Oh you didn't do bad

You made it out

I'm still stuck here oh but I'll get out

Oh yeah I'll get out

Can't you see the giant that walks around you

Seeing through your petty lives

Do you think I do these things for real

I do these things just so I survive

And you know I will survive

It may look to the untrained eye

I'm sitting on my arse all day

I'm biding time until I take you all on

My Lords and Ladies

I will prevail

I cannot fail

Cos I spy

Oh I've got your numbers taken notes

I know the ways your minds work I've studied

And your minds are just the same as mine

Except that you are clever swines

You never let mask slip

You never admit to it

You're never hurried

Oh no no no

And every night I hone my plan

How I will get my satisfaction

How I will blow your paradise away away away

Cos I spy

And it's just like in the old days

I used to compose my own critical notices in my head

The crowd gasp at Cocker's masterful control of the bicycle

Skilfully avoiding the dog turd next to the corner shop

Imagining a blue plaque

Above the place I first ever touched a girl's chest

But hold on

You've got to wait for the best

You see you should take me seriously

Very seriously indeed

Cause I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks

Smoking your cigarettes

Drinking your brandy

Messing up the bed that you chose together

And in all that time I just wanted you

To come home unexpectedly one afternoon

And catch us at it in the front room

You see I spy for a living

And I specialise in revenge

On taking the things I know will cause you pain

I can't help it

I was dragged up

My favourite parks are car parks

Grass is something you smoke

Birds are something you shag

Take your Year in Provence

And shove it up your arse

Your Ladbroke Grove looks turn me on yeah

With roach burns in designer dresses

Skin stretched tight over high cheek bones

And thousands of tiny dryness lines

Beating a path to the corners of your eyes

And every night I hatch my plan

It's not a case of woman v man

It's more a case of haves against haven'ts

And I just happen to have got what you need

Just exactly what you need yeah

La la la la la la la la la la

In the midnight hour

La la la la la la la la la la

I will come to you

I will come to you

I will take you from this sickness

Dinner parties and champagne

I'll hold your body and make it sing again

Come on sing again

Let's sing again oh yeah

Cos I spy

Yes

I spy

I spy a boy

And I spy a girl

I spy the chance

To change the world

To change your world