Bitch Went Nutz

B**ch Went Nutz - Ben Folds

I took her with me

To the Christmas office party mistake

She did a line and started

Spouting all her liberal garbage

Bro I'm so ashamed

I never heard such sh*t in all my life

I hoped one day to mold you

Into the perfect wife

But you blew my hopes sky high

The b**ch went nutz

Started talking about politics

In front of all my bosses

Bullshit from the internet

The b**ch went nutz

I'll never be a partner at this rate

Not with Jane f**king fonda Jr as my date

Oh no oh no no oh

It took me and a couple of men to restrain her

You should've seen her

When she freaked out and keyed John franklin Jr's

Brand new beamer

She called us biggets with her fist in the air

And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair

Now they think that I'm a f**king asshole

The b**ch went nutz

Started talking about vegetables

To the wives of all my coworkers

Yeah cruelty to animals

She thinks because she reads books

She must be smarter

But now when I close my eyes

I'll be f**king Jimmy Carter

Oh no oh no no oh no no

Couldn't you have just nodded and smile

From nine to twelve pm

Instead of telling your conspiracy theories

To all my bosses and all my friends

The b**ch went nutz

Started putting down the Christians

And all about what the white man

Did to the Indians

How could I know that she never done blow before

She shouted f**k Dick Cheney

And then she puked on the Franklin's floor

Oh no oh no oh no no

Oh no no oh no oh right