The Darktown Poker Club

The Darktown Poker Club - Phil Harris/His City Slickers

Bill jackson was a poor old dub

Who joined the darktown poker club

But cursed the day he

Told them he would join

His money used to go like it had wings

If he yelled queens someone had kings

And each night he would

Contribute all his coin

Then he said I'm gonna play em tight tonight

He said there'll be no bobtail

Flushes make me bite

Cause when I gets in them

My hands will be a peach

And he played them tight but lost his pile

And bill got peevish after a while

So he rose looked all

Around and made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

Now I'm coming in there with my rules

That you must follow when you play

Now keep your big bony hands on the table

While you dealing please

And don't be slipping them aces down there

Er in between your knees

And don't be making all them funny signs

Like you trying to tip off your hand

Just talk in american boy american

So I can understand

And don't be dealing off the bottom

Because ooh that's rough

Take five five then stop that's enough

Now when you bet put up the chips

Because I don't like it when you shy

Then if you get busted

Go on out and get some

I'm gonna be here by and by

Pass them cards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deals

Then if anythings wrong I must see

Cause I mean you always ain't no er

Keep playing that game

According to mr hoyle

You all play this game according to me

Now sitting right there in that there clan

There chance to be a one eyed man

And bill kept watching him

Out the corner of his eye

When ole one eye would deal and then

Would cost that bill another five or ten

Bill got up again looked all

Around him with a sigh

He said lord this is an awful shame

He said there someone

Cheatin' in this 'ere game

He said it goes er

It ain't no do for me to name the guy

So I'll refrain from

Mentioning the party's name

If I catch him cheatin' just once again

I'm gonna take my fist

And close that other eye

Now you see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

I'm comin' in there with my own rules

That you must follow when you play

Hey kid keep your hands up there

While you're givin' them out please

Stop puttin' them wildies

Down there 'tween your knees

Stop makin' all them funny signs

Like you're tryin' to tip off your hand

Keep talkin' in american big aaa

That's what I can understand

And don't be getting'

Them off the bottom

Because I keep tryin'

To tell you it's rough

This an army game five

Five halt that's enough

Now when you bet let me

See the reds and blues

'Cause I don't like it when you shy

Then if you run out of

Gas go get pumped up

I'm gonna be here by and by

Pass them pasteboards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deal let me ripple

Anything wrong I wanna see

I mean you always ain't gonna

Keep playin' the game now

According to that mr hoyle

You all gonna play this game

According to me

Henry if you break the seal

On that new deck of bicycles

We'll go on from there yeah

Yeah yeah yeah