A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol - Tom Lehrer

Christmas time is here by golly

Disapproval would be folly

Deck the halls with hunks of holly

Fill the cup and don't say when

Kill the turkeys ducks and chickens

Mix the punch drag out the Dickens

Even though the prospect sickens

Brother here we go again

On Christmas Day you can't get sore

Your fellow man you must adore

There's time to rob him all the more

The other three hundred and sixty-four

Relations sparing no expense

Send some useless old utensil

Or a matching pen and pencil

("Just the thing I need how nice ")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is

Nor how heart felt the spirit

Sentiment will not endear it

What's important is the price

Hark the Herald Tribune sings

Advertising wondrous things

God rest ye merry merchants

May ye make the Yuletide pay

Angels we have heard on high

Tell us to go out and buy

So let the raucous sleighbells jingle

Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle

Driving his reindeer across the sky

Don't stand underneath when they fly by