The Old D**e Peddler (Live)

The Old Dope Peddler - Tom Lehrer

You are no doubt familiar with songs

About the old lamplighter

And the old umbrella man

And the old garbage collector and all

These lovable old characters

Who go around spreading sweetness

And light to their respective communities

But it's always seemed

To me that there is one member of this happy band

Who does an equally splendid job

But who has never been properly recognized

In song or story

And this is an attempt to remedy

At least in part that deplorable situation

When the shades of night are falling

Comes a fellow ev'ryone knows

It's the old d**e peddler

Spreading joy wherever he goes

Ev'ry evening you will find him

Around our neighborhood

It's the old d**e peddler

Doing well by doing good

He gives the kids free samples

Because he knows full well

That today's young innocent faces

Will be tomorrow's clientele

Here's a cure for all your troubles

Here's an end to all distress

It's the old d**e peddler

With his powdered ha-happiness