A Little Priest

A Little Priest - Len Cariou/Angela Lansbury/Stephen Sondheim/Original Broadway Cast Orchestra

Lyrics by：Stephen Sondheim

Composed by：Stephen Sondheim

Produced by：Thomas Z. Shepard/Jay David Saks

Seems a downright shame

Shame

Seems an awful waste

Such a nice plump frame

Wot's 'is name has

Had

Has

Nor it can't be traced

Bus'ness needs a lift

Debts to be erased

Think of it as thrift

As a gift

If you get my drift

No

Seems an awful waste

I mean with the price of meat

What it is

When you get it

If you get it

Hah

Good you got it

Take for instance Mrs Mooney and her pie shop

Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast

And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most

And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Mrs Lovett what a charming notion

Eminently practical

And yet appropriate as always

Mrs Lovett how I've lived

Without you all these years I'll never know

Think about it

Lots of other gentlemen'll

Soon be comin' for a shave

Won't they

Think of

All them

Pies

For what's the sound of the world out there

What Mr Todd

What Mr Todd

What is that sound

Those crunching noises pervading the air

Yes Mr Todd

Yes Mr Todd

Yes all around

It's man devouring man my dear

Then who are we to deny it in here

All these are desperate times

Mrs Lovett and desperate measures mast be taken

Here we are now hot out of the oven

What is that

It's priest have a little priest

Is it really good

Sir it's too good at least

Then again they don't commit sins of the flesh

So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat

Haven't you got poet or something like that

No y'see the trouble with poet is

'Ow do you know it's deceased

Try the priest

Heavenly

Not as hearty as bishop perhaps

But then again not as bland as curate either

And good for business too always leaves you wantin' more

Trouble is we only get it on Sundays

Lawyer's rather nice

If it's for a price

Order something else though to follow

Since no one should swallow it twice

Have you anything

Now do if you're British and loyal

You might enjoy Royal Marine

Anyway it's clean

Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been

Is that squire

On the fire

Mercy no sir look closer

You'll notice it's grocer

Looks thicker

More like vicar

No it has to be grocer

It's green

The history of the world my love

Save a lot of graves

Do a lot of relatives favors

Is those below serving those up above

Ev'rybody shaves

So there should be plenty of flavors

How gratifying for once to know

That those above will serve those down below

Now let me see here I we've got trun tinker

No no

Something pinker

Tailor

Paler

Butler

Subtler

Potter

Hotter

Locksmith

Lovely bit of clerk

Maybe for a lark

Then again there's sweep

If you want it cheap

And you like it dark

Try the financier

Peak of his career

That looks pretty rank

Well he drank

It's a bank

Cashier

Last one really sold

Was and crises old

Have you any Beadle

Next week so I'm told

Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and

Notice 'ow well it's been greased

Stick to priest

Now this might be a little bit stringy

But then of course it's sound fiddle player

No no this isn't fiddle player it's piccolo player

'Ow can you tell

It's piping hot

Then blow on it first

The history of the world my sweet

Oh Mr Todd

Ooh Mr Todd

What does it tell

Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat

And Mr Todd

Too Mr Todd

Who gets to sell

But fortunately it's also clear

But ev'rybody goes down well with beer

Since marine doesn't appeal to you 'ow about rear admiral

Too salty I prefer general

With or without his privates

What is that

It's fop

Finest in the shop

And we have some shepherd's pie peppered

With actual shepherd on top

And I've just begun

Here's the politician so oily

It's served with a doily

Have one

Put it on a bun

Well you never know if it's going to run

Try the friar

Fried it's drier

No the clergy is really

Too coarse and too mealy

Then actor

That's compacter

Yes and always arrives overdone

I'll come again when you have Judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world my pet

Yes yes I know my love

We'll take the customers that we can get

High-born and low my love

We'll not discriminate great from small

No we'll serve anyone

Meaning anyone

And to anyone

At all