Going Through Changes (Explicit)

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

Lately I really

Feel like I'm rollin'for delf like Philly

Feel like I'm losin'control of myself I sincerely

Apologize if all that I sound like

Is I'm complainin'but life keeps on complicatin'and

I'm debatin'on leavin'this world this evenin'

Even my girls can see I'm grievin'I try and hide it

But I can't why do I act like I'm all high and mighty

When inside I'm dyin'I am finally realizin'I need

Help can't do it myself too weak

Two weeks I've been havin'ups and downs goin'through peaks

And valleys dillydallyin''round with the idea

Of endin'this s**t right here I'm hatin'my reflection

I walk around the house tryna fight mirrors

I can't stand what I look like yeah

I look fat but what do I care I give a f**k

Only thing I fear's Hailie I'm afraid if I close my eyes

That I might see her s**t

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

I lock myself in the bedroom bathroom nappin'at noon

Yeah Dad's in a bad mood he's always snappin'at you

Marshall what happened that you can't stop with these pills

And you've fallen off with your skills and your own fans are laughin'at you

It become a problem you're too p***y to tackle Get up

Be a man stand a real man woulda had this s**t handled

Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed

They say Proof just flipped out homie just whipped out and bust

Nah it ain't like Doody to do that he wouldn't f**kin'

Shoot at nobody he'd fight first but dwellin'

On it only makes the night worse now I'm poppin'Vics Percs

And Methadone pills Yeah Em tight verse

You killed it f**kin'd**g dealers hang around me like yes men

And they gon'do whatever I says when I says it

It's in their best interest to protect their investment

And I just lost my f**kin'best friend so f**k it I guess then

I'm going through changes

Don't know what I'm gonna do

I'm going through changes

But I just keep on going through changes

My friends can't understand this new me that's understandable

Man but think how bananas you'd be you'd be an animal too

If you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo

And everybody's lookin'at you what you want me to do

I'm startin'to live like a recluse

And the truth is fame's startin'to give me an excuse

To be at an alltime low I sit alone in my home theater

Watchin'the same d**n DVD of the

First tour the last tour he was still alive

And it hurts so I fast forward sleeping pills'll make me feel alright

And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night

I'll just take a couple more yeah you're motherf**kin'right

I ain't slowin'down for no one I am almost homeward bound

Almost in a coma yeah homie come on dole 'em out

Daddy don't you die on me Daddy better hold your ground

F**k don't I know the sound of that voice Yeah baby hold me down

Daddy

I'm going through changes

Daddy

Don't know what I'm gonna do

I'm going through changes

But I just keep on going through changes

Wake up in the hospital full of tubes but somehow I'm pullin'through

Swear when I come back I'ma be bulletproof

I'ma do it just for Proof I think I should state a few

Facts 'cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth

S**t it just hit me that what if I would not've made it through

I think about the things I would'a never got to say to you

I'd never get to make it right so here's what I came to do

Hailie this one is for you Whitney and Alaina too

I still love your mother that'll never change

Think about her every day we just could never get it together hey

Wish there was a better way for me to say it

But I swear on everything I'd do anything for her on any day

There are just too many things to explain when it rains

Guess it pours yes it does wish there wasn't any pain

But I can't pretend there ain't I ain't placin'any blame

I ain't pointin'fingers Heaven knows I've never been a saint

I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history

And just today I looked at your picture almost if to say

I miss you subconsciously wish it didn't end this way

But I just had to get away don't know why I don't know what else to say

I guess I'm

I'm going through changes

Don't know what I'm gonna do

I'm going through changes

But I just keep on going through changes