The Pest

The Pest - John Cooper Clarke

Written by：John Cooper Clarke

The pest pulled up propped his pushbike at a pillar box

Pulled his peen paused at a post and pissed

Piss in the proper place pronounced a perturbed pedestrian

And presently this particular part of the planet was plunged

Into a panorama of public pressure and pleasure through pain

The pandemonium prompted the police

Who patrolled the precinct in panda cars

To pull up and peruse the problem

While pickpockets picked pockets in pairs

Arrest the pest who so pointedly pissed

In that public place pleaded the peeved people

Practically palpitating

The powerful police picked up the pest pronounced him a poof

A pansy a punk rocker a pinko a poodle poker

They picked him up pummeled his pelvis

Punctured his pipes played ping pong with his pubic parts

And packed him in a place of penal putrifaction

The period in prison prooved pitiless

The pendulous pressure of a painless personality purge prompted

The pest to ponder upon progessive politics

And a workable prognosis

He put pen to paper and provatively

And persuasively propogated his personal political premise

Pity a police provacateur put poison pellets

In the pest's porridge

The police provacateur was promoted

And the pest was presented with the pulitzer peace prize

Posthumously