I'm Sorry

Go ahead and call me a coward and say I'm not strong

Because I'm not like you

Go ahead and call me crazy cause I live in a maze

Tell me how about you

I think I live in my head sometimes I think that I'm dead

I hide behind my youth

No I been losing my mind and I'm a little behind

Step inside my shoes

Cause I've never been happy with myself

And I don't need no one feeling bad for me

Trying to offer me pity and throw jabs at me

Wanna give me advice and then laugh at me

Behind closed doors

Just close the door let me be by myself

Just me and myself

I'm tired of living I cry I hear it's easy to die

I wanna see for myself

And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else

But I'm depressed as f**k

Stressed as f**k

Ain't no medicine that could cure what's the test as d**gs

I mean I need extra love

And that ain't even enough

'Said that ain't even enough

And where the f**k is God

God god

D**n maybe I ain't believing enough

And today we gonna see if he's real

And if he is I guess I'm probably going to hell

Look I ain't wanna die like this

I ain't picture my life like this

They don't know what it's like like this

Pretending I'm happy so I can smile like this

And laugh like you

Sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you

Could I finally fit in and maybe relax like woo

Or would you feel lost without me

Cause honestly I think the world is better off without me

And my mind's spinning this is the line finish

Truth is I don't care how they feel about my feelings

I made up my mind I'm going out like Robin Williams

I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend

And I've been suicidal since the day I was nine s**t

Okay the day I was nine

I've been tired of being bullied cuz stay out the fire

Grandma told me I should take it one day at a time

And d**n it look at me now f**k

F**k pens runnin' out

S**t fu *sigh*

*scrapping paper*

Look just know it's a new day

But if you reading this

Then it's probably too late *gunshot*

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I hope you got what you wanted

I hope you finally happy

It's too late for you

Been going out of my mind

You don't know how many times that I done prayed for you

I hope you hear me godd**n it

Cause I got so much s**t that I wanna say to you

I used to shine now I'm all in the dark

I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart

But godd**n it look at you now it's all of your fault

How could you

Maybe it's my fault

I shoulda paid more attention to what you been doing

Maybe I should have been more of an influence

I can't believe that you're dead I fu

I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it

But I'll forever be attached to you d**n

Part of me feels bad for you

A part of me feels like you weak and I'm mad at you

And I don't mean to be insensitive

But I don't understand how we couldn't prevent this s**t

You took the easy way out

Godd**n it you dead

I mean look what you did

I'm so f**king upset how could you be so selfish

N***a how could you be so selfish

Now you're gone you done left me so helpless

I wonder what God thinks

I hope you in God's place behaving yourself

Yo what the f**k you gotta say for yourself

Say for yourself

Look I really feel lost without you

I hate the fact you think the world is better off without you

And my mind's spinning this is the line finish

Truth is I don't care how you feel about my feelings

And I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine listen

I know that you can hear me all I need is like five minutes

I just wanna reach inside the casket and pull you out

I'm sorry this isn't something that we both could figure out

I wish I could hear you now

Is your soul missing

I wonder if you could do it again would you do it different

Tell me what death is like

Was it meant for you brodie

Did the heaven support it

Are you f**king happy now

Did you get what you wanted

Isn't this what you wanted

I feel the temperature falling

And you've been suicidal back day you were nine

Yeah even back then you was nine

We was living on the edge couldn't stay out the fire

Grandma told us we should take it one day at a time

And d**n it look at you now

S**t but it's a new day

And if you can't hear me it's probably too late

F**k

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family

It's okay I'm sorry

But it's too late I'm sorry

So much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day I'm sorry

But I can't stay I'm sorry

So much weighing on me