Ed (LP版)

Ed was at the end of his rope an expression he detested

There is no rope he would scream at the laughing walls

There is only the end no hope no rope

Ending is better than mending

Doors of perception windows of opportunity

These are illusions like the killing floor

Ed spoke in a squeaky whiny voice

With perhaps a slight tinge of glee

But this was only because he couldn't be bothered

To try to develop a manner of speaking

That truly reflected his mood

This is a vaccum there is no air in this room

Despair is no fun anymore

Nihilism knocked three times on the ceiling

But the rosy fingers of dawn always inserted themselves

In the nose of unfulfilled promises

Angels sang Heysanna Hosanna

Paralyzed prima donnas danced in the streets all day

But when the darkness came everybody went home

I was ready everyone else was asleep

And while it might have been a relief to see

That I was right all along

Here I am still alone and trapped

Awaiting the endless end

And I can turn it all around

And laugh at it and laugh at myself

I can laugh louder than the walls the halls the waterfalls

Louder than Charles De Gaul or Fulton Mall

But I don't know what I'm laughing at

I don't know just what I think is so godd**n funny

I don't know why I don't just shut up

And give up and lay down and die

What do I have to complain about anyway

Ed asked his Pica*so I'm a millionaire

This wasn't actually true

Ed's Pica*so was an obvious forgery

His three Rothkos had just been singled out

In an article in 'Art forum' entitled

'The Three Most Insignificant Paintings of Mark Rothko'

And his Barbara Krugers had been irreparably damaged

By Rein Sanction and a few other bands from Gainesville

That refused to acknowledge the value of art

Come to think of it Ed mused

To the laminated roadkill coffee table that he had purchased

When times had seemed slightly less bleak

Come to think of it not only does art have no intrinsic value

But my collection has no extrinsic value either

I know I'm not a millionaire

But that's no reason to complain

There is no reason to complain

There is no reason to do anything

I don't believe in reason objective reality or collective farming

I don't believe in public speaking

Which is another reason why I'm here alone

I don't believe in life or death

I would kill myself but I don't believe in suicide

Ed put on a red shirt and took a quick walk around the block

While whistling softly to himself

He reentered his apartment screaming

There is no life on this planet

Jehovah One replaced all life with machinery five centuries ago

The so called Industrial Revolution

Was just another hoax and we all fell for it

'Cause we were all programmed to even I fell for it

I believe in the steam engine

Even though I don't believe in anything

Logical inconsistency is the Mr Bubble I bathe in

Each and every evening except for yesterday evening

When I roller bladed over to the Masonic Temple

To play pinochle with Pope John Paul the First

I really had no choice in the matter

Ed certainly could go on and on

And he did and he would and he will

Until you or I or somebody does something about it

Senator Sterno of Louisiana

Announced over closed circuit television

And as long as he continues to pontificate pointlessly

I will do nothing

Ed walked away from the program feeling fortified and stapled

His brain was buzzing the way it always did just after 'Jeopardy'

He loaded up the micro bus with atlases and poseidons

And headed for Pope County

I've had it he sang I've had it with puns alliteration

Russian literature Italian neorealism

Meaningless cross references and laundry lists of nonsense

I shall drive without a license without clothing without direction

And if I make it to Arkansas fine

And if I'm running late if I'm running a numbers game

It doesn't matter I shall keep on running

Yes this is the answer this is the ending I shall keep on running

Because a body in motion tends to stay emotional

And it's better to feel pain is better than emptiness

Emptiness is better than nothing and nothing is better than this