Is It A Crime

Is It A Crime - Judy Holliday

Mother and Dad handed down to me

A bit of their own philosophy

I've stuck to it like an obedient daughter

But it always lands me in hot water

I'd gladly follow out your suggestions

If you'd give me the answers to these questions

Please tell me

Is it a crime to start each day

With a laugh and a smile and a song

And is it a crime to end each day

With a laugh and a smile and a song

Is it wrong is it a crime

To call the world your valentine

Is it a crime to grab a lamp-post

And then sing Sweet Adeline

I ask you

Is it a crime to save a wee

Baby bird when it falls from its nest

That little bird should have a chance

To fly like all the rest

So if it's a crime to help old ladies cross the street

Then put me in jail

Without bail

Bread and water from an old tin pail

If that's if that's a crime

Is it a crime

Inspector I'm puzzled

We're taught two things as we go through life

One Be thy brother's keeper

And two Mind your own business

(With a laugh and a smile and a song )

Now if I know something and by telling it to someone

In distress

I could change that person's life and bring them the

Bluebird of happiness

Is it a crime to tell him or is it a crime not to

Is it that you mustn't or you've got to

Should you say: "Hey watch out for that banana peel

Bud "

Or just remain silent and then laugh as he crashes

With a thud

Inspector my job is to get messages to people on

Time

If I have a job and I see it through

And it's just my duty that I do do do

Is that is that --

Inspector let's go back a few thousand years

If there had been answering services then and if it

Had been up to me

I could have changed the course of history

I could have prevented many a famous tragedy

(With a laugh and a smile and a song )

Why every night I lie awake and my cheeks grow

Soaking wet

When I think of what I could have done for Romeo and

Juliet

"Hello Verona-Phone Oh yes Mr Romeo Juliet

Capulet called The message is: 'To avoid getting

Married to other fellow am playing dead Friar

Laurence gave me a great big sleeping pill but when I

Wake up we'll head for the border ' Oh don't thank

Me it's all in a day's work "

See what I could have done

Maybe I'm right

Maybe I'm wrong

But if I got that message through on time I'm telling

You

Those two kids would be alive today

So if it's a crime to help old ladies cross the

Street

Then I confess

I'm just a mess

Mother and Dad you were wrong I guess

Inspector were they wrong