Reviewing the Situation

Reviewing the Situation - Clive Revill

A man's got a heart hasn't he

Joking apart hasn't he

And tho' I'd be the first one to say

That I wasn't a saint

I'm finding it hard to be really

As black as they paint

I'm reviewing the situation

Can a fellow be a villain all his life

All the trials and tribulations

Better settle down and get myself a wife

And a wife would cook and sew for me

And come for me and go for me

And go for me and nag at me

The fingers she would wag at me

The money she would take from me

A misery she'd make from me

I think I'd better think it out again

A wife you can keep anyway

I'd rather sleep anyway

Left without anyone in the world

And I'm starting from now

So "how to win friends and to influence people"

So how

I'm reviewing the situation

I must quickly look up ev'ryone I know

Titled people with a station

Who can help me make a real impressive show

I will own a suite at Claridges

And run a fleet of carriages

And wave at all the duchesses

With friendliness as much as is

Befitting of my new estate

"Good morrow to you magistrate "

I think I'd better think it out again

So where shall I go somebody

Who do I know Nobody

All my dearest companions

Have always been villains and thieves

So at my time of life

I should start turning over new leaves

I'm reviewing the situation

If you want to eat

You've got to earn a bob

Is it such a humiliation

For a robber to perform an honest job

So a job I'm getting possibly

I wonder who my boss'll be

I wonder if he'll take to me

What bonuses he'll make to me

I'll start at eight and finish late

At normal rate and all but wait

I think I'd better think it out again

What happens when I'm seventy

Must come a time seventy

When you're old and it's cold

And who cares if you live or you die

Your one consolation's the money

You may have put by

I'm reviewing the situation

I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay

You'll be seeing no transformation

But it's wrong to be a rogue in ev'ry way

I don't want nobody hurt for me

Or made to do the dirt for me

This rotten life is not for me

It's getting far too hot for me

There is no in between for me

It's getting far too hot for me

There is no in between for me

But who will change the scene for me

I think I'd better think it out again