The Irony of It All

The Irony of It All - The Streets

Hello Hello My names Terry and I'm a law abider

There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer

And when the weekends here

I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight

Good bloke fairly

But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny

Bounce 'em round like bunnies

I'm likely to cause mischief

Good clean grief you must believe

And I ain't no thief

Law abiding and all all legal

And who cares about my liver when it feels good

What you need is some real manhood

Rasher Rasher Barney and Kasha

Putting peoples backs up

Public disorder I'll give you public disorder

I down eight pints and run all over the place

Spit in the face of an officer

See if that bothers you cause

I never broke a law in my life

Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife

Come on lads lets have another fight

Eh hello My names Tim and I'm a criminal

In the eyes of society I need to be in jail

For the choice of herbs I inhale

This ain't no wholesale operation

Just a few eighths and some

Playstations my's vocation

I pose a threat to the nation

And down the station the police hold no patients

Let's talk space and time

I like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein

And Carl Young And old Kung Fu movies I like to see

Pass the hydrator please

Yeah I'm floating on thin air

Going to Amsterdam in the New Year - top gear there

Cause I taker pride in my hobby

Home made bongs using my engineering degree

Dear Leaders please legalise w**d for these reasons

Like I was saying to him

I told him: "F**k with me and you won't live "

So I smacked him in the head and downed another Carling

Bada Bada Bing for the lad's night

Mad fight his face's a sad sight

Vodka and Snake Bite

Going on like a right geez he's a twat

Shouldn't have looked at me like that

Anyway I'm an upstanding citizen

If a war came along I'd be on the front line with em

Can't stand crime either them hooligans on h****n

Drugs and criminals those thugs on the penny coloured

Will be the downfall of society

I've got all the anger pent up inside of me

You know I don't see why I should be the criminal

How can something with no recorded fatalities be illegal

And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol

I just completed Gran Tourismo on the hardest setting

We pose no threat on my settee

Ooh the pizza's here will someone let him in please

We didn't order chicken

Not a problem we'll pick it out

I doubt they meant to mess us about

After all we're all adults not louts

As I was saying we're friendly peaceful people

We're not the ones out there causing trouble

We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters

Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is

MTV BBC 2 Channel 4 is on until six in the morning

Then at six in the morning

The sun dawns and it's my bedtime

Causing trouble your stinking rabble

Boys saying I'm the lad who's spoiling it

You're on *** it really bugs me

When people try and tell me I'm a thug

Just for getting drunk

I like getting drunk

Cause I'm an upstanding citizen

If a war came along I'd be on the front line with em

Now Terry you're repeating yourself

But that's okay drunk people can't help that

A chemical reaction happening inside your brain

Causes you to forget what you're saying

What I know exactly what I'm saying

I'm perfectly sane

You stinking student lameo

Go get a job and stop robbing us of our taxes

Err well actually according to research

Government funding for further education pales in insignificance

When compared to how much they spend on repairing

Leery drunk people at the weekend

In casualty wards all over the land

Why you cheeky little