Sullivan: 8. As Someday It May Happen That A Victim...

Act 1 - 8. As Someday It May Happen That A Victim... - Peter Pratt/The D'Oyly Carte Opera Chorus/The New Symphony Orchestra Of London/Isidore Godfrey

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found

I've got a little list I've got a little list

Of society offenders who might well be underground

And who never would be missed who never would be missed

There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs

All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs

All children who are up in dates and floor you with'em flat

All persons who in shaking hands shake hands with you like that

And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist

They'd none of'em be missed they'd none of'em be missed

He's got'em on the list he's got'em on the list

And they'll none of'em be missed they'll none of'em be missed

There's the banjo serenader and the others of his race

And the piano-organist I've got him on the list

And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face

They never would be missed they never would be missed

Then the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone

All centuries but this and every country but his own

And the lady from the provinces who dresses like a guy

And who doesn't think she dances but would rather like to try

And that singular anomaly the lady novelist

I don't think she'd be missed I'm sure she'd not he missed

He's got her on the list he's got her on the list

And I don't think she'll be missed I'm sure she'll not be missed

And that Nisi Prius nuisance who just now is rather rife

The Judicial humorist I've got him on the list

All funny fellows comic men and clowns of private life

They'd none of'em be missed they'd none of'em be missed

And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind

Such as What d'ye call him Thing'em-bob and likewise Never mind

And'St'st'stand What's-his-name and also You-know-who

The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you

But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list

For they'd none of'em be missed they'd none of'em be missed

You may put'em on the list you may put'em on the list

And they'll none of'em be missed they'll none of'em be missed