Delaney's Donkey

Delaney's Donkey - Val Doonigan

Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired

Temporarily lazy and permanently tired

A leg at every corner balancing his head

And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed

Riley slyly said we've underrated it why not train it then they took a rag

They rubbed it scrubbed it they oiled and embrocated it

Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag

There was Riley pushin' it shovin' it shushin' it

Hogan Logan and everyone in town

Lined up attackin' it and shovin' it and smackin' it

They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down

The donkey was eyein' them openly defyin' them

Winkin' blinkin' and twistin' out of place

Riley reversin' it everybody cursin' it

The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch

They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch

Delaney lay exhausted hangin' round his throat

With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note

Starter Carter he lined up with the rest of them

When it saw them it was willin' then

It raced up braced up ready for the best of them

They started off to cheer it but it changed it's mind again

And there was Riley pushin' it shovin' it shushin' it

Hogan Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw

She started pokin' it an' grabbin' it an' chokin' it

It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah

The whigs and conservatives the radical superlatives

Liberals and tories they hurried to the place

Stood there in unity helpin' the community

The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The crowd began to cheer it then Rafferty the judge

He came to assist them but still it wouldn't budge

And The jockey who was riding little little John MacGee

Was so thoroughly disgusted that he went to have his tea

Hagan Fagan was students of psychology

Swore they'd shift it with some dynamite

They bought it brought it and without apology

The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the her out of sight

There was Riley pushing it shoving it and shushing it

Hogan Logan and all the bally crew

Police and auxil'ary

The Garrison Artillery

The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too

They seized it and harried it

They picked it up and carried it

Cheered it steered it to the winning place

Then the Bookies drew aside

And They all commited suicide

The day Delaney's donkey won the halfmile race