The Sideboard Song (Got My Beer In The Sideboard Here)

The Sideboard Song (Got My Beer In The Sideboard Here) - Chas & Dave

Mother phoned up last night she was going spare

She was in a temper pulling out her hair

Your sisters brought in this scruffy looking head

Father don't give a monkeys this is what he said

I don't care I don't care I don't care

If he comes round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad

So he comes to the telephone he wasn't half mad

Says she's got no sense the silly little cow

And if he comes round here there's gonna be a row

I don't care I don't care I don't care

If he comes round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

I'll tell you something else and all he's never got a job

He hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob

Mother says calm down dad has alright

There out there snogging in the passage all night

I don't care I don't care I don't care

If he comes round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

If he comes round here

I've got my beer let Mother sort it out

In the sideboard here got my beer

Let Mother sort it out

I don't care if he comes round here

Think he was a tramp with a stubble on his chin

He looks like something that the cats brought in

Never got no money smokes all my fags

Got holes in his soles and he's hanging in rags

On top of that he says I tell you why I got the hump

She had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front

There's nothing seems to fit her she's a running out of clothes

If he thinks he's takin liberties I'll punch him on the nose

I don't care I don't care I don't care

If he comes round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

If he comes round here

I've got my beer let Mother sort it out

In the sideboard here got my beer

Let Mother sort it out

I don't care if he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

If he comes round here

I've got my beer let Mother sort it out

In the sideboard here got my beer

Let Mother sort it out

I don't care if he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here

If he comes round here

I've got my beer let Mother sort it out

In the sideboard here got my beer

Let Mother sort it out

I don't care if he comes round here

I don't care I don't care I don't care if he comes round here

I got my beer in the sideboard here let mother sort it out

If he comes round here