The Lonely Jew On Christmas

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas

My Friends won't

Let me join in any games

And I can't sing Christmas songs

Or decorate a Christmas tree

Or leave water out for Rudolph

'Cos there's something wrong with me

My people don't believe

In Jesus Christ's divinity

I'm a Jew a lonely Jew on Christmas

Hanukkah is nice but why is it

That Santa passes

Over my house every year

And instead of eating ham

I have to eat kosher latkes

Instead of 'Silent Night'

I'm singing 'Hu Hagtol Gavish'

And what the f**k is up

With lighting all these f**king candles

Tell me please

I'm a Jew a lonely Jew

I can't be merry

'Cos I'm Hebrew on Christmas

Hey little boy

I can't help but hear

You're feeling left

Out of Christmas cheer

But I've come to see

That you shouldn't be sad

'Cos this is the one month

That you shoud be glad

Because it's nice

To be a Jew on Christmas

You don't have to deal

With the season at all

You don't have to be

On your best behaviour

Or give to charity

You don't have to go to

Grandma's house with your

Alcoholic family

And I don't have to sit

On some fake Santa's lap

And have him breathe

His stinky breath on me

That's right you're a Jew

A stylin' Jew

It's a good time to be Hebrew

On Christmas