The Hole In The Ground

The Hole In The Ground - Bernard Cribbins

There I was a-digging this hole

A hole in the ground so big

And sort of round it was

There was I digging it deep

It was flat at at the bottom

And the sides were steep

When along comes this bloke in a bowler

Which he lifted and scratched his head

Well we looked down the hole

Poor demented soul and he said

Do you mind if I make a suggestion

Don't dig there dig it elsewhere

Your digging it round and it ought to be square

The shape of it's wrong it's much much too long

And you can't put hole where a hole don't belong

I ask what a liberty eh

Nearly bashed him right in the bowler

Well there was I stood in me hole

Shovelling earth for all I was worth

There was him standing up there

So grand and official with his nose in the air

So I gave him a look sort of sideways

And I leaned on my shovel and sighed

Well I lit me a fag and

Having took a drag I replied

I just couldn't bear to dig it elsewhere

I'm digging it round co's I don't want it square

And if you disagree it doesn't bother me

That's the place where the holes gonna be

Well there we were discussing this hole

A hole in the groud so big and sort of round it was

Well it's not there now the ground's all flat

And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

And that's that