ฟังเพลงPirelli's Miracle Elixir

Pirelli's Miracle Elixir - Stephen Sondheim

Written by：Stephen Sondheim

Ladies and gentlemen

May I have your attention please

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair

To discover your pillow is covered with hair

What ought not to be there

Well ladies and gentlemen

From now on you can waken with ease

You need never again have a worry or care

I will show you a miracle marvelous rare

Gentlemen you are about to see something that rose from the dead

On the top of my head

Scarcely a month ago gentlemen

I was suddenly struck with a rare oriental disease

Though the finest physicians in london were called

I awakened one morning amazed and appalled

To discover with dread that my head was as bald

As a novice's knees

I was dying of shame

Till a gentleman came

An illustrious barber pirelli by name

He gave me a liquid as precious as gold

I rubbed it in daily like what I was told

And behold

Only thirty days old

'Twas pirelli's miracle elixir

That's what did the trick sir

True sir true

Was it quick sir

Did it in a tick sir

Just like an elixir ought to do

How about a bottle mister

Only costs a penny guaranteed

Penny buys a bottle I don't know

You don't need ah let's go

Does pirelli's stimulate the growth sir

You can have my oath sir

'Tis unique

Rub a minute

Stimulating in'it

Soon you'll have to thin it

Once a week

Gently dab it gets to be a 'abit

Soon there'll be enough sir

Somebody can grab it

See this chap with hair like shelley's

You can tell he's used pirelli's

Let me have a bottle

Make that two

Pardon me ma'am what's that awful stench

Are we standing near an open trench

Buy pirelli's miracle elixir

Anything what's slick sir

Soon sprouts curls

Try pirelli's

When they see how thick sir

You can have your pick sir

Of the girls

See pirelli's miracle elixir

Grow a little wick sir

Then some fuzz

The pirelli's

Soon'll make it thick sir

Like a good elixir

Always does

Trust pirelli's

If your hair is sick sir

Fix it in the nick sir

Don't look grim

Just pirelli's miracle elixir

That'll do the trick sir

What about the money

If you've got it a kick sir

What about the money

Where is this pirelli

Go and get pirelli

Tell it to the mixer

Of the miracle elixir

If you've got a kick sir

What about the money