Jason Waste (Explicit)

Jason Waste - Sway (摇摆乐队)

Hi my name is Jason and I'm not gay

People call me a waste man 'cause I haven't got a job what a knob

Bed up make tea shower eat

Paste wee change go make teas

Alarm snooze back to sleep

All of my little brothers always call me a waste man

Because I'm 27 and I'm living down in the basement

I'm so complacent so I will stay here

They're banging on my door but I won't chase 'em

Cause I'm so lazy the last few days I

Haven't seen daylight haven't shaved

And they can say what they like they just hate me

Cause I never let 'em have a go on my playstation piss off

They said I'm fat I need to go to the gym

I don't wanna be fat I wanna be slim

Did a minute on the treadmill went for a swim

Little kids jumped out soon as I jumped in

Now I'm in the changing room

Hi my name is Jason and I'm not gay

I'm looking at your thing but it's not what you think

I'm think to myself why is mine not as big

So I think dirty thoughts so I can get it bigger

Beyonce look at me now I'm a killer

I said I'm not gay go away stop wishing

I just wanted a bit of stiff competition

What what do you want

Piss off

I said piss off

Shut up I don't care

This is a crap gym

It doesn't work how do I know it works

I'm still fat why am I still fat

It's a sh*t gym

Sod off

I got a baby mum and a lovely little son

Lovely boy but his is mum is very very dumb

I was very very drunk I told her lot of secrets

Very very drunk I told her not to keep it

Anyway she had it sorry had him Darren

His grandmother Karen wanted to call him Gavin

But I didn't have it I was working at maplin

Gavin was my manager and I wanted to slap him

Cause he wanted to sack me 'cause I wanted to stab him

Cause my girl liked him and she wanted to shag him

He's a bit bigger but I know I could have him

As a matter of fact he kinda looks like Darren

I still got sacked and this is how it happened

Some Nigerian guy called tunde

Who told me to call him Thomas for short

Walked into the store said he wanted to talk

At first I wasn't sure but because he was nice to me

And he kinda showed me his nine

He brought a lot of stuff and he told me to swine

But this is a woman's car

Shut up it's for my wife

He would come in like every fortnight

And buy the same ipod 4 times

Apparently he was doing the same thing with tariq

Who told the police my name when it happened it was Jason

What

We're from the metropolitan police fraud department

Police

Oink oink

Oink you're a pig

Listen go away man I don't wanna get arrested

I wanna rest I wanna sleep

All my little brothers smoke w**d

Come and arrest them or they'll do murder

Bed

I can sleep till the world ends

And I ain't in a rush for a girlfriend

All I ever do is fail them

Cause all I ever do is tell them the true

If you're fat you're fat b**ch ain't nothing wrong with that

Don't switch I'm just telling you a fact

Do you think you're thin

Well then

I abuse most of them

I think that's how I lose most of them

I don't want to get too close to them

After what happened to Elton in school

Elton was cool

But he had a girlfriend that didn't want to do things he wanted to

Do

She said no but he went ahead and felt her

I think he's just coming out of feltham

My last girl was a wannabe wag

Who went everywhere in a cab

I told her I'm rich

She took me to harrod

And picked up this Gucci worth a grand

I went quiet like words from my gran

Cause that's too much to spend on a slag

I mean that's too much to spend on a bag

As soon as we got to the till I ran

Then my mobile rang

It was my first love Anna

She said she split up with her man

And she's in need of a bang

I said I'll be on a bus in a minute

She said you better not bust in a minute

I got prang and rushed to the chemist

Excuse me have you got anything for men that ejaculate premature

He took me to the back of the store

He gave me a spray what's this for

Got to her house clock says 4

She's worn out I'm wanting more

Cause she's sore she went down south

And I think she's saying she can't feel her mouth

Oi Anna speak loud

Are you saying you can't feel your mouth

Are you saying where is this mouse

What you want me to take your couch

Look if you want to kiss me out

That's when she kicked me ouch

I think she's trying to kick me out

Just tell me if you wanna get me out

I'm gone