Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

I'd like to take you now on wings of song as it were and try and help you forget perhaps for a while your drab wretched lives here's a song all about spring-time in general and in particula

Out one of the many delightful pastimes the coming of spring affords us all

Spring is here a-suh-puh-ring is here

Life is skittles and life is beer

I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring

I do don't you 'course you do

But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me

And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune

On a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Ev'ry Sunday you'll see

My sweetheart and me

As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming the birdies all try an' hide

But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright

Ev'rything seems all right

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We've gained notoriety

And caused much anxiety

In the audubon society

With our games

They call it impiety

And lack of propriety

And quite a variety

Of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion

To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free

Why don't you come with me

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do

In a squirrel or two

While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment

Except for the few we take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin'

With each drop of strychnine

We feed to a pigeon

It just takes a smidgin

To poison a pigeon in the park