The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem (Explicit)

The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem (Explicit) - Dan Bull

Lyrics by：Dan Bull

Composed by：Dan Bull

In the middle of the village with a household

A little different to the others they weren't as cold

So let's go down below

To meet the only townsfolk made out of snow

He was a clown you know loved pranking bro

Suddenly pouncing making people round say："oh"

His name was Bob and his daily job

Was guarding the town nightly at eight o'clock

But Bob got so bored that he'd lob snowballs at the locals

And although all snow that was thrown

There was frozen nobody really thought it was so cool

Wasn't the most socially appropriate mode of approaching the folk

Who would go to the law court

To report that he broke rules had a vote and of course

They'd enforce he be stonewalled

He was caged and afraid he would wave and say："hey"

To the kids parents shaking their hands and they would make

Them look away just as if he didn't exist

And so Bob made the decision to begin making amends

Said sorry mama never meant to hit you

Never meant to make you cry so could I be freed now

I promise that I will throw no snow

I'll go home keep it on the low low so

This town isn't a no go zone no mo'

Just a cup of cocoa and a ho ho ho

No po po yo just a nice time ah

Though uh oh yo it's the night time ah

And once the sunset's gone the undead come so be afraid

They're such a hungry bunch they want to munch and eat your brains

Nowhere to run and hide no they'll just come inside

Wherever you put your bun they're gonna come and find you

But Bob noticed the bloody loud commotion would have dove in

But wasn't allowed the townsfolk just

Forbode him it was forebodings to know

That he couldn't go no chucking snow so he felt frozen

The zombies closed in it was as though

They were hunting for something enclosures were opened

Pumpkins were jumped there was no clear motive

But phobia punching a pumpkin is odious

Bob took umbrage at his bros being broken and broke those oaths

That he won't throw snow

He was ready to bury any undead in the area

With a bo bo bo bo bo

Go home zombies ain't it obvious

We don't want them we got them good got them gone and with no problem

So the folk bestowed honours

And wrote heroic songs in honour of Bob the Snow Golem

And although they were so fond of him doted on him

They couldn't condone lobbing snow with no punishment

He was thrown back inside like Bo Burnham was trapped in an iron

And stone column no comment

How could you live knowing you've done it

Have you no honour

Got me stuck here 'till the midsummer

That's some folk horror

Folks want to go on about having free will

'Till you put them in the crowd more than three then they're evil

That's when Bob said well then I'll be d**ned

If I let the crowd mentality get me down I'm planning to throw down

You turned me barbaric like a snowcone Conan

Now feel the wrath of the snowman

Brap brap brap Run home and close the doors

I'm chucking frozen balls at you with no remorse

You could have brokered peace but now you've chosen war

I'll suffer no defeat 'till every person falls

So every player be warned this is the perfect storm

And 'till the weather's turning warm

I'll lob those snowballs

At the locals 'till there are no more