ฟังเพลงA Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying - Bloodhound Gang

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert

That night I strolled on into

Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love

It had been a while

In fact three hundred and sixty five had come and went

Since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons

Through a pair of Daisy Duke cut offs and one of those

Fruit of loom the tank tops

Well that night I lost myself to ruby red lips

Milky white skin and baby blue eyes

Name was Russell

Yes a lap dance is so better much when the stripper is cryin'

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well I find it's quite a thrill

When she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well faster than you can say shallow grave

This pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls

Like hard boiled eggs in a tube sock

Said her name was Bambi

And I said well that's a coincidence darlin'

'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer

Well she smiled had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern

And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask

As I do my little kooky dance

And then she told me to shush

I guess she could sense my desperation

'Course

It's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well I find it's quite a thrill

When she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So Bambi's goin' on about

How she can make all my fantasies come true

So I says even this one I have where Jesus Christ

Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole

With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something

Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on

Santa Claus's tummy tum

Well ten beers twenty minutes and thirty dollars later

I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean

Got to nail her back at her trailer

Heh that rhymes

I have to admit it was even more of a turn on

When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well I find it's quite a thrill

When she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch

Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into the stinky pinky gulp

N' guzzle big rig snooze a stop

There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb

When I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton

Well my heart just dropped

So I decided to do what any good christian would

You can not imagine

How difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice

And polish the one eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five

In an eighteen-wheeler

I never thought missing children could be so sexy

Did I say that out loud

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well I find it's quite a thrill

When she grinds me against her will

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'